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Nosir. Not me.

Agh.. yet another depressive journal. This is becoming quite a habbit, I'd suppose that this lj account is just here for me to rant to when I have no one.

Well I deserve to rant this time, although it's not actually a rant, it's venting because I'm depressed. Y'see.. I woke up early today and I came downstairs just as my mom and stepdad were getting ready to go to the café at the bottom of the road, I spoke to them, bid them their farewells and went into the kitchen to get a drink. While looking out the kitchen window I thought "Hey.. it's going to be a nice day!" I watered the potplant on the windowsil then all of a sudden..


Someone was at the door, I go and open it and my stepdad and mom are looking whiter than ghosts, talking about getting a box and a shovel, neither of them paid attention to me asking what in the name of Rapture was going on til my mom eventually did stop and said "There's a black and white cat outside.." Not very helpful information. Cats do generally tend to go outside. My mom steps outside and my stepdad stops beside me "The cats layin' on the curb and its head is missing.." I froze up, because two of my cats have gone missing, both girls, both with black and white fur so I began to panic thinking it could be one of them, Tinkerbell's been missing for months and Peppa went missing a couple of weeks ago. But no..

I ran upstairs, got dressed while shaking like mad. Pulled on a pair of jeans and socks and dunks and I looked out the window to see my parents looking at this corpse of a cat on the floor. I see my other cat Georgie hop onto the fence and sighed with relief, cause he's also a black and white cat. I jump down the stairs and tumble abit, open the door and BAM. My stepdad's there with a dead cat in a box, my mom at the end of the path, crying her eyes out. My stepdad looks at me with a sorrowful expression and speaks quietly "It's Teddybear..." My heart broke. Teddybear was the youngest cat we had, very vocal and adorable as hell, also black and white. My mom hears him and she wails loudly. For the first time in years I approached her and gave her a hug, 'spose it's what they call shellshock for me. She cried and I bit it all back, rubbing her shoulder and telling her it's okay and all that. My stepdad says "I'll go take him and burry him with Fliq..."

Last Christmas, I was given a tiny silver kitten all for my own and I named him Ivan, my mom was given a little tabby and she called her Fliq. Barely 6 weeks old.. The person who my parents bought them from had used flea drops on them. Flea drops for DOGS and of course that lead to a million problems, Ivan grew sick and was taken away from me, after visiting him daily in the ICU at the vet, they put him down and I was destroyed. Few days later, Fliq passed away too, the flea treatment was like poison and slowly killed our precious little kittens. Fliq was burried at my Grannys house in her beautiful garden whilst Ivan was taken to a pet cemetry because he died at the vet. So that's where Teddy's being burried, in the pretty garden.

It's just so sad that we had gotten Teddybear when he was a few weeks old too. He was bought to take care of Fliq while Ivan was in the vet, once she died, we only had Teddybear, Tinks and Salem (my old grumpy dark prince, he's a black cat whom I've had for almost 7 years now). Salem didn't take kind to Teddy, nor did Tinks. A week or so later my mom came home with two other kittens called Peppa and Georgie, her friend was moving house because of a psycho boyfriend and he trashed her house and threatened to kill the kitties so we took them in temporarily but it ended up being for keeps. And since then we've loved them all so much. We took care of them and spoiled them rotten. But it seems that we have just.. no luck.. at all..

Tinkerbell's missing, probably dead. Peppa is missing.. Teddy's.. d-dead.. How am I going to tell my baby brother and sister this..? If I ever find out who did this to my Teddybear.. I will rip of THEIR head and see how they fucking like it! ;A;

It's quiet here now.. except for sobbing noises
I've got no one to talk to and I don't feel hungry..
it wasn't such a good day afterall.

Time to go sit and.. think I guess..



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